Today, I want to talk about the media constructs of beauty and my personal experience with them. I think every one of us has at some point looked at these images of celebrities or models or influencers and felt ugly in comparison. Especially for women, the standards are ridiculously high and seem to make no sense. The only thing forever fashionable is to be like a chameleon, constantly keep changing or you won't be able to keep up. Just look at how often female celebrities get questioned or criticised about their attire. Sexualisation is so prevalent, as are double standards. If you show too much skin, you’re a slut, show too little and you’re a prude. And the fashion industry setting these standards seems oh so glamorous and self-confident but that’s far from the reality.
In my brief foray into the modelling world, I have been called everything from too short to too chubby (I'm 5 feet 7 and weigh 50kgs). I’ve been called too fat and too skinny to be a model on the same day (it beats me how I could be both simultaneously.) I have been told that because of my very light skin tone and short hair, I can't possibly be cast as an Indian because evidently what sort of Indian woman am I if not a long haired bronzed goddess. I have been criticised for everything from the gap in my teeth(I personally love it and refuse to get it altered) to the chicken pox marks on my face to the area above my eyelids(I mean seriously?!!) Almost every aspect of my appearance has been scrutinised and objected to. I've been asked to become darker if I want to find work, as if this is how diversity is supposed to work. This is not my space to occupy, it is the space of an actual dark skinned woman who is deserving. I've been told to pay my way into the industry or sleep my way up, because evidently everything will get you a shot, except hard work.
^Helpful flow chart of flaws pointed out by clients and agents!
People also often believe that modelling is the easiest job in the world. That models are paid to be pretty. But it is in fact more gruelling than most desk jobs I’ve seen. It requires an innate understanding of how your expressions or even posture should convey the meaning you’re supposed to be selling. It requires a commitment to physical fitness that most people shudder to think of. And anyone who believes models are just bozos or bimbos has obviously never met too many models. Most models I know are insanely hard working. Many are bright, incredibly smart and kind. As in any other industry, there are some bad apples, but that doesn’t merit degrading an entire category of professionals. People are often so surprised when I say that I model because of course how could a woman with a fully functional brain also want to capitalise on her looks? People highlight sexualisation and the degrading nature of the work as if models themselves choose to do that and not the people who view the industry as such.
Models are often treated like cattle. Several times, we are at shoots for long hours and most clients don’t even offer food or water. Body shaming and harassment are rampant. Clients and casting agents can be very mean and humiliating in how they speak. Shows and shoots often go on late into the night with no provisions for safety. Changing rooms are often inadequate or flimsy and people keep their cameras trained on you even in between changes with no regards for your privacy. At a show I did last summer, right before we went on, they ironed a model’s dress while she was still wearing it, and they ended up burning her thigh. This is the reality behind that fancy façade. And the beautiful image you see in the end? It’s not just a person you're looking at. It's also the lighting, the talent of the photographer and make-up artist, the editing afterwards. After 4 hours in the make up artist's chair, trust me, sometimes I don't even recognise myself! Several people’s jobs are contingent on producing the image you see and attaching aspirational value to what is being sold with it. I love art, fashion and beauty, but not at the cost of ruining someone's self-esteem.
That’s why I want to say that I fall short every single day, not because I'm not beautiful but because they made these standards to set us up to fail. And of all the things I am and have done, the combination of my parents' genes is hardly what I wish to be congratulated for. I am lucky to be considered what is conventionally beautiful and there is no harm in complimenting anyone on beauty or anything else. But I’d like to believe that my beauty is the least fascinating thing about me. That I'm more than the looks I did nothing to receive. I would like to believe that I am kind and smart and funny and a good friend. I work hard and love fiercely. I kick ass every day and honestly I don't care if I look good doing it. I'm not going to tell you that if you're reading this, you're beautiful. I'm telling you that it doesn't matter.
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